I’m on the Atkins Diet — day 2!
If you see me with grapes — stop me!
Day 1 – I nicknamed this diet “F*&!ing Atkins”. Today, I want to talk with Mrs. Dr. Atkins, cuz I’m pretty sure she has a different slant on this diet. Certainly it would involve a few ounces of wine, daily. Probably an apple or a dish of pineapple. I’m not asking for chocolate or potatoes – I don’t deserve them. I need to develop some other tastes.
Day 2 – So this morning I tried eggs for breakfast.
Full disclosure, I’m not an egg lover. I had nothing but scrambled eggs and cottage cheese, when, as a 5 year old, I needed an appendectomy. I now eat neither. But I vowed to try today.
The egg delivery system was an Atkins Scrambled Egg Bowl with peppers, onions and sausage. It was disgusting (to me); the eggs were tough, the sausage, chewy (and not in a good way) and there were so many onions and peppers in the dish that I couldn’t get my face near it without drawing tears. I’m sorry Dr. Atkins — that’s only one non-egg lover’s review. But really, if you don’t like eggs, Atkins is going to be a problem.
So that was bad, but then I think my fairy godmother felt bad for me and as I leaned down to pick up the newspaper, my zipper broke. Seems like bad luck — right? Actually it was good luck. The broken zipper gave me a reason to go home – and when I went home, I got bacon!
I’m going to hang in for a few more days, but am warned about possible low-blood sugar due to the criminally-low carbs allowed me. Will a few grapes be my rescue?