Calling Mrs. Atkins!

Image result for grapes images clip artI’m on the Atkins Diet — day 2!

If you see me with grapes — stop me!

Day 1 – I nicknamed this diet “F*&!ing Atkins”.  Today, I want to talk with Mrs. Dr. Atkins, cuz I’m pretty sure she has a different slant on this diet.  Certainly it would involve a few ounces of wine, daily.  Probably an apple or a dish of pineapple.  I’m not asking for chocolate or potatoes – I don’t deserve them. I need to develop some other tastes.

Day 2 – So this morning I tried eggs for breakfast.

Full disclosure, I’m not an egg lover.  I had nothing but scrambled eggs and cottage cheese, when, as a 5 year old, I needed an appendectomy.  I now eat neither.  But I vowed to try today.

The egg delivery system was an Atkins Scrambled Egg Bowl with peppers, onions and sausage. It was disgusting (to me); the eggs were tough, the sausage, chewy (and not in a good way) and there were so many onions and peppers in the dish that I couldn’t get my face near it without drawing tears.  I’m sorry Dr. Atkins — that’s only one non-egg lover’s review.  But really, if you don’t like eggs, Atkins is going to be a problem.

So that was bad, but then I think my fairy godmother felt bad for me and as I leaned down to pick up the newspaper, my zipper broke.  Seems like bad luck — right?  Actually it was good luck.  The broken zipper gave me a reason to go home – and when I went home, I got bacon!

I’m going to hang in for a few more days, but am warned about possible low-blood sugar due to the criminally-low carbs allowed me.  Will a few grapes be my rescue?